March has come and gone. I mean that in more ways than one. March, of note, is the month that my father was born in. It is strangely also the month that all male grandchildren were born in as well. Interesting fact, but less the focus today. I want, for a maudlin moment to focus instead on who was not here this year as we celebrated the twins birthday. Those not part of where we are now, and those who are gone.
As a father, I understand the separation of father’s and sons over time. I separated from my father, and the Twins continue to separate from where I am. I don’t find solace in knowing that, just understanding that it is normal. Funny but of the missing people I miss my father. Some of the rest are close, and they called on the twins birthday. The rest is a million miles away and wouldn’t call even if phones worked and they cared.
For a long time, I couldn’t share pictures of my dad without getting wistful and sad. Now, I try to focus on all the happy memories. Not focusing on the things unsaid, and the great hurts of the past, that were never great. They were perceived as great hurts, but all hurts are on both sides. Moving past those, to remember my father’s smile. To remember all the things he did for me as a person (that my mother still does). To find the happiness and let go of those past moments. There are so many happy memories, just not remembering the sadness let them flow into my life and reminded of how grand a man my father was.
Thanks, Dad! We miss you, but we will always remember you!