There are times when I should just let things go. I am doing so right now. Hanging out on the boat yesterday, we were doing maintenance and preparation. We didn’t leave the slip but had a nice lunch. Well nice for us, we get to relax and hang out and talk as the originals. Father’s day exists in our relationship because there was us first. Not because of anything or anyone else, there was us first. Both of us had lived, survived, improved through the reality of previous marriages. The Divorce rate in the US has climbed to more than 50% for first marriages. Both my wife and I had gone through really bad marriages before, and from that experience, we were both committed to changing and evolving.
But more than 50% of second marriages end in Divorce. It is not an easy thing to do, be married. You have to ultimately build a relationship that is separate from your lives now. For us, that is sitting on the boat having chicken wraps from the Giant that is just down the street from the marina. Chips, but not the really bad chips, more healthy chips overall. All you have to do is talk. I wrote a song for my wife many years ago, a recording of me singing it is out on my podcast site (https://docandersen.podbean.com). The song was called “Talk to me. No matter what you feel. Talk to me.” I wish that could apply to Ex’s, but those relationships are now gone forever.
I am trapped in a sentimental loop since yesterday. I miss my dad. You don’t realize how much you rely on someone until they are gone. My grandfather Andersen passed when I was 11 years old. Yes, there was a connection there, a lot more than I knew then. I suspect that was why I was so sad and didn’t realize the impact of his passing until later. My Grandfather Johnston died when I was 35. His passing I felt. He was my go-to person. I could talk to him about anything and everything. I still miss him, 22 years later. But after his passing, dad and I started doing that. Talking about everything. Dad’s advice was different than grandfather’s but every bit as good. His death 4 years ago is still a struggle for me. I miss him the most on father’s day, but I miss him sometimes just because of the things he said and did. The path into tomorrow leads through the garden of yesterday.