A holiday past, I shared some holiday pictures from when the kids were little, today, the day after some of the pictures of the kids now. Well from two days ago, but I don’t think any of them grew in the past 48 hours. With my daughter and her finance having moved out, they returned for Christmas Eve dinner (and again for Christmas breakfast). Their new house in the north of us, but still in Maryland. It makes it easier for both of them although my daughter does have to drive a lot further now than she did in the past. For the next few weeks of the transition, and maybe beyond, they are dropping their dogs off at our house to visit during the day. So the grand-dogs are here now.
I wrote previously about the gift that parents give their children. I know that I have at times forgotten the many wonderful things both my parents did for me. It is really easy to blame your parents for the failings in life. It is their fault; they made choices. I suspect many people suffer from that issue, blaming their parents for all the things that didn’t go the way they would have liked. The thing about being a parent is you have to decisions, not that benefit yourself, but decisions that benefit your family. Parents have to consider so many more things that the wants of children. It makes for contention at times, as the child expands what they perceive to be their sphere of influence.
My mother once told me the best thing for her (the early years of children) was when her children were suddenly people that she was proud to call a friend. Yes, there were difficult years. My mom and I argued frequently, my father and I argued frequently. That is the stage we are entering with our daughter and will be entering with the twins soon. Transitioning from parenting all the time, to being friends. Yes, always the parent, always parenting but no having to be the parent or parenting all the time. It can be difficult to make that transition because it requires both sides engage. Both sides have to be part of the move forward. If one side is locked in a battle with the past, neither side and move forward.
It is the last job of a parent and having done it now the hardest.