wander project looking within


Part OF time passing is that memories change with time. Things that once made you angry, later just remind you of differences. As we mature we find that there is less to carry with us. Anger is more baggage than carryon. It doesn’t help us move from where we want to be, where we are, or just staying put. Anger is, however, the easy answer to many questions. Exploding in the glow of white-hot anger we lash out at the world. But there is no justification for hurting others. We have to measure our world carefully based on that. We are human beings, and our path is important. Each of us carries both a candle and a flashlight. One burns, one shines. But we also carry darkness with us.

What we lead with can impact others. The candlelight shows more shadows and burns in a flickering and mesmerizing way. I am the center, the flame says, and it licks the wick and the sky at the same time. The wax, slowly melting and dripping down the sides of the candle. Each drip of wax creating a new path for the next drip. There is a weakness in the light of the candle that struggles to escape a small circle in the darkness. The candle with each use changes. Evolves if you will from what it was to what it is. The flashlight is always the same but is more likely to fail. More likely to need new batteries or a new bulb. The acid within the batteries is sometimes leaking out to fill the metal pieces within the flashlight with rust.

Rust that weakens the metal and the flow of power from the batteries. At that moment we must choose between the lights — the weaker candle, harder to carry unless you are Scrooge. The flashlight easier to carry, more powerful but, both create a place for the darkness. Beyond the edge of the light lies the darkness. Sometimes, if we are fair, the darkness lies within us. That is the reality that we all must face. That we are the vessels, we bring the darkness with us. Not always, but sometimes that darkness is wholly inside of us. We lash out in anger and pain to strike the darkness of others. But we seek only to for a time, turn on a spotlight and make the darkness within us go away.

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