It is a lot easier to forgive a child when they transgress. Why? Because we are invested in their success. I have a theory about that. The level of investment we have is directly related to the connection we feel. If someone feels disconnected, they will last out. Now, when the disconnection is a child, we help them move forward. We reach out to them and try to align them with a more effective way to resolve the issue. It comes to mind one of my favorite quotes. I don’t recall where I read it. It may have come from my father or my grandfathers. It may have come from my mother (she loves the My Pen Rai of Thailand or Turkey Buzzard depending on your intent when speaking to her!)
Don’t be the rock. Don’t be the ripple, Be instead the quiet of before and after. Yes, there is a sound when the rock hits the surface of the water. There is a sound when the ripples strike the shore of the lake, river, pond or ocean. The quiet is what you disturbed when you fling the rock. The quiet is what the rock disturbs as it displaces water and pushes away from where it was, to where it will now be. That is what we teach children. To understand that in throwing that rock, you break the surface of the water. In breaking the surface of the water, you, the rock thrower own what comes next. That is the lesson we pass to children about their impact on the world.
I see this on the internet now. The anonymous reality of the internet becoming the water. The internet represents that pond, river, creek or Ocean that we fling rocks into. Posts, comments they are the rocks we throw. Some of them landing, gently into the water and produce no sound, ripples. Those are the comments, the posts that we cherish. Each of us seeks the equilibrium of the rock settling gently into the water and leaving no ripples behind. It is within us, that natural response to the world. To seek the quiet of the forest and the pond undistributed. To gently touch the surface and find forever, the quiet of the unmoved water. Then to hear forever, the sound of gentle water. No ripples, no rocks, simply quiet.